Movie Night Out w/ Cecilia

Hello people

So on Sunday evening, Cecilia and I rolled out to a cinema nearby to have a night free of uni anxiety!

Ended up watching this:

Step Up and Magic Mike sounded like something light and fun, so we went with Magic Mike that night.

As for the movie itself, I guess it was kind of fun to watch, but I was not impressed with how it ended really abruptly. Like there was no proper closure to the story. We both kind of felt blah as we were exiting the cinema…but I guess it’s just what it is, and there were some funny parts too…so it was a fun time. The act of watching a movie with a friend itself just makes it fun anyway! We got a big popcorn to share, munched away, watching comedy…that can’t be not fun, right?

So yeah, we thought for one night, we’d just forget all about our worries and enjoy ourselves, but we actually ended up talking A LOT about uni anyway, while sipping on our hot drinks and indulging into our sundaes at a local cafe after the movie.

My mug of chai latte Love it when they come in mugs instead of latte glasses!

I opted for the chocolate banana split to end the night with

It was actually good that we got all of our worries out of our hearts and talked about every possible uni issue that we could be cradling our heads for.

There are times when talking about problems will only make you worry irrationally, but the conversation made us feel a lot lighter in the end of the day – realising that you are not the only one struggling with issues definitely helps.

Also, we were really honest about our problems and opinions. I always prefer honestly, no matter how harsh the truth may be, so it was great talking everything through that night.

We also discussed about our plans for how to survive through the rest of the year and pass everything. I’d say this was the most constructive part of the night, because Cecilia told me she was going to go to uni a hour or two before the first morning lecture to study at the library, and I decided to join her too! So these couple of days, I’ve been studying at the library for about an hour before heading off to the lecture theatre. I am definitely a morning person and can concentrate the best during the AM, so I’m hoping that this will pay off as I prepare for the exams.

And even better, I got to fit in an early morning Pilates session from 6:30 this morning! It was freezing when I left home, and my fingers and toes were still pretty cold even after the class, but it was definitely worth waking up at 4:30am for. The sun rose and its rays begun to filter in through the windows as we were working out, and it was the most amazing feeling to have those first rays of light shine across my chest during the roll-ups.

I have a feeling this week might be a great week for me physically as well; I biked to and from the hospital clinical skills session and it really got my body warm! I have terrible circulation so it’s difficult for me to warm up even while exercising, but cycling through those hills definitely got my hams and quads working. That followed by today’s Pilates sort of balanced things out and made be feel totally refreshed

Anyway, that’s pretty much all I have to share for today.

Have a great rest of the week!

Have you recently had a great workout/physically peaceful moment/just a general great physical feeling? Do share your story!

- Asuma xxx

Weekend & The-Monday-After Photo Log

Here goes…

…wholemeal pasta on cooked spinach, topped with tomato relish…

…apartment hunting; still nothing…

…breakfast on the go – cooked oat bran, chia, lsa, cinnamon, egg whites, milk, vanilla with stevia…

…trying out types of fruit i typically don’t buy…

…refreshing…

…my usual peppermint tea…

…indulging in wholemeal sourdough with fig cinnamon jam….

Some thoughts residing in my head right now:

• These simple iphoneography tips on fat mum slim are easy enough to incorporate into daily snap shots, even for someone like me! Thanks Chantelle, for sharing with us
• I don’t mean to sound like an obnoxious smartpants by correcting other people’s grammar, because I’m sure I certainly make tonnes of them myself, but it bothers me that so many people use the term “awhile” in place of “a while”. In short, “awhile” literally means “for a while“, so when people say “for awhile”, they’re saying “for for a while”. Get it? When you’re not using the word “for”, simply say “a while”, for example, “it will be a while until she gets here”. You get the idea.
• 4.5 good days were followed by a day and a half’s failure. I don’t feel miserable though, and I am not going to call that 1.5 blah day a failure anymore. Looking up and moving on.
• I haven’t been to yoga or pilates for a while (and not “for awhile” ), since I’ve been more into weights lately. Maybe I’ll go back when I feel like it on rest days.

 

Sorry for the incoherent post! Wait, “incoherent”, or “incohesive”? Now I’m getting paranoid about my language

Anyway, tomorrow’s my birthday so I want to be excited!! Hope this blah mood will just go away.

Love you all

Asuma

 

How I Feel About My Fitness Routine

Greetings, people of the internet world

How is your week going? Thank god it’s finally Thursday over here. Thursday = almost weekend, because I only have one practical class tomorrow

So I’m almost done with the first week of this current course at uni. At the moment we’re basically studying about pregnant women’s health, children’s eating habits and diet, etc. and it seems like I am going to be able to enjoy this course a lot more than I thought I would! I love studying about women’s health and nutrition…well, at least over a lot of other topics that I cannot relate to or feel a connection with.

However, uni life is tiring no matter what. I wasn’t being able to have a good quality sleep for a while again these days, but I think my body finally caught up with the cues from my brain that I needed some rest last night, because I just could not keep my eyes open after the clock struck 9pm. Had a good 9-hour sleep, and I’m a lot peachier today. I do feel like I have seen better days in terms of physical wellness and peace of mind though, but I’m not feeling too bad either.

Speaking of physical fitness, I had been leaning toward yoga and pilates as my mode of exercising lately. I felt like that was what my body needed when I made this shift from being more cardio-oriented several weeks ago, and I do believe that the calm and relaxing stretching and core-strengthening were exactly what I needed at that time.

I was quite stressed out emotionally, so they really did help me keep less insane (note – I was actually going pretty damn crazy, but I’m sure it would have been even worse without the tiny morsels of peace that yoga and pilates provided).

Yet again, I begun to feel like it was time for a bit of variation in my fitness routine. Trust me, I’d never get bored of yoga or pilates, but I was still beginning to miss that boost of endorphins that cardio could give me. The idea of getting sweaty, hot and worked up excited me.

So today, I decided to go back to one of my favourite group sessions at the uni gym – Body Attack! The thought of it seemed appealing at first. But after my class ended at 5pm, spent some time at the library and as I walked down toward the gym, I started getting mixed thoughts about it. “You have stayed away from cardio for quite a while, Asuma, what if you get worn out in the middle and have no energy to stay until the end?” “Are you sure this is what you want to do today? Or would you rather just go back home?” “Maybe weights would be a better idea? What about Body Pump?” All these thoughts ran across my mind as I walked down. This happens to me all the time; millions of thoughts shooting around in my head, creating havoc, making me doubt my decisions and often making me change my mind in the end. These thoughts never ceased firing even when I got to the locker room. But today, despite all these distracting voices in my head, I ended up standing in my gym clothes, hair all tied back, in the middle of the group fitness studio, ready for the class. I was kind of proud of myself that I got there in one piece.

This is my blog, and I want to be honest with all of you who kindly read my very cohesive (*not) posts. So I am going to tell you what. I did not stay until the end of the session. No, I did not get short of breath. It wasn’t an abdominal cramp either. But I just felt uncomfortable – yes, get this, I just left the session only after 20 minutes today, simply out of discomfort. I usually don’t leave in the middle of any group fitness classes, but today, I left without much contemplation.

I don’t even know why I did that. Am I getting too easy on myself? Why couldn’t I at least put a little bit more effort? I really don’t know how to answer these questions. I feel like I should regret what I did…but at the same time, I don’t. I don’t want to beat myself up for something I can’t do anything about anymore. What’s done is done.

And what’s more, this isn’t even a crucial issue that I should be debating about with myself right now. At the moment, I don’t have a specific fitness goal, and I don’t plan to have a strict fitness regime like I used to before. I used to believe I needed to have a specific fitness routine that I needed to follow. But with all the emotional turmoil that I’ve been facing, I don’t want to force myself into putting effort into exercising right now. I’m just not in a place to be able to put in my 100% effort into every single aspect of my life right now.

I know, this is me being lazy. And I am not saying this to justify my actions, but honestly, I don’t want exercising to be something to stress out about. I want to exercise because I enjoy it. If a certain type of exercise doesn’t feel good at the moment, maybe I’ll try it again later. But I don’t have to, if I don’t want to right now. I will put more focus into my fitness routine when the time is right. But right now is just not it.

I have been working to learn to be kinder to myself. After talking to my psychiatrist, dietician, counsellor and reading books written by great authors like Geneen Roth and Elizabeth Gilbert, I am trying to redirect my thoughts into what is right for both my mind and my body right now. I am still struggling, but I want to be able to love myself, find myself again.

I am going to regard what happened today as a lesson, and try to feel how I really think about myself. (If that makes any sense…sorry, I could be horrible at trying to explain these stuff!)

Okay well, this post is getting pretty long and wordy now, so I think I’ll stop about here.

Good night folks

- Asuma

Sunday before an Assignment Due Date + Recent Eats

Hello

I hope you’re all enjoying your Sunday!

Though I do wish that the weather would be a bit less gloomy than this…like even yesterday morning was 14 degrees outside! Really, is the winter almost here?

Anyway, I guess it’s good for me right now because it’s keeping me inside to work on my assignment.

Yes, I’m still working on it.

And yes, it’s due tomorrow morning.

Maybe I’m being a bit too optimistic here, but I know I’ll get it done and it will be good (probably…hopefully…) so I’m not actually worried about it.

Guess it’s a good thing for my mental health that I’m not too anxious these days.

Anyway, I’ve already gone to my Pilates class today, so I can just blog procrastinate work on my report now.

As soon as I finish this post. And eat some granola. And look up recipes on Pinterest. No no no, as soon as I’m done writing this, I’ll get working again. Promise.

By the way, today’s Pilates class was so full I barely had any space to place my mat. Somehow found some sort of a spot in the back to squeeze in…though I couldn’t stretch my arms fully sideways in one move. At least I didn’t have to kick my neighbours’ heads so it was all good

I usually don’t attend Pilates on Sundays so I’d never attended today’s instructor’s class before, but it was quite good, because I just wanted a good stretch with a little bit of core strengthening today. The other instructor focuses more on core abs work, which I usually prefer. But because I wanted to rest my muscles a bit after yesterday’s workout, this class was just what I needed.

On a completely different note, I cannot stop reading and literally laughing out LOUD at this tumblr page!!!!! Absolutely hilarious. You HAVE to go and check it out, now. (Sorry if you’ve known about it for ages and you’re like “pfffft, Asuma, you really didn’t know about it until now? Loser!”). But it’s just so funny. Usually I don’t get stuck on just one LOL-type website for a long time, but this one…needs to stay on my home page

Anyway, I’m going to end this post with a few photos of my most recent eats (no salad photos as they tend to look boring even if they taste amazing!!):

Blueberry Oats Chia Pudding , from Angela’s blog Oh She Glows. (Recipe here).

Leftover Cauliflower Pizza Crust pieces, with cauliflower + zucchini + asparagus sauteed with egg.

This was actually just another basic oatmeal, but I wanted to show you my new huge mug-type bowl and spoon

Kefir yoghurt with probiotic. I actually like this milk and honey flavour! Not overly sweet. From a local health food store. I tend to have it with granola, puffed kamut, banana, blueberries, chia, etc., rather than just on its own.

The said yoghurt, with granola + banana (I should have probably sliced the fruit but couldn’t get bothered so just smashed it in the mug with the spoon…).

Edam cheese + almond butter sandwich on wholemeal & seeds bread.

Brown rice + banana + skim milk + cottage cheese + cinnamon. Another easy breakfast creation! Probably going to be repeating this for breakfasts throughout the week with leftover rice.

Easy peasy chirashi sushi – brown rice + steamed broccoli + smoked salmon avocado with soy sauce and a cup of peppermint tea.

Yes, there was brown rice underneath all those toppings!

Okay then, hope you’ll all make the most out of the rest of your weekend!

                        – Asuma

Random Friday Morning

A good Friday morning to you all!

Last day of the week…the weekend is just knocking on the door!

Well actually for me, it already does feel like the weekend because I only have once prac class in the afternoon and that’s it. It’s so amazing not having to go to an 8 or 9am lecture, although I did end up waking a bit earlier than usual.

Did a liiiiittle bit of reading on lower respiratory tract and had a good bowl of oatmeal. I haven’t been having much hot oatmeal for breakfast these days because of the morning rush, but it’s really nice to just sit with a warm, comforting bowl and read through blogs without having to check the time constantly.

Added a bit of egg white to my bowl today, for extra protein.

Oh, and I also wanted to share a photo of something I got in the mail recently!

“Asuma” necklace, in sterling silver.

I ordered this right after Valentine’s day because I wanted to use up a discount card that I had forever and the expiry date was creeping up.

It had been about a month since I ordered and the company said they were going to post it in 2 weeks from the date of the order, so I was getting worried it had gotten lost somewhere on the way. Glad it got here safe.

On a different note, I did something really douchy last night.

Yeah, I broke my chair.

But I have a story behind it!

I always felt that the arm rest was annoying when I was working at the desk and wanted to pull the chair in closer to the desk (because it would get stuck at the edge of the desk), or when I wanted to cross my legs (the arm rest would get in the way of my knees).

So last night, I thought…hey, why don’t I just remove it? It’s only screwed on anyway.

And then this happened.

Apparently, the back of the chair was only attached to the base because the arm rests were screwed on to both the base and the back.

Lol, the story of my life.

But I managed to assemble them together again, so it’s all good now (I’m sitting on it as I am writing this right now, as a matter of fact).

Anyway.

I guess, since I have so much time before my class today, I’ll go to the Pilates class in a while, and maybe Yoga after lunch.

I went for Body Attack yesterday and got my share of cardio in, so a good core strengthening and stretching sounds pretty good for me today.

Oh and it was my first time doing a set of Body Attack tracks from the 80′s!!! Body Attack 45 and 47, I think, is what our instructor said. The music was so much fun!

So this ended up as a pretty random post…oh well.

Good weekend to you all!!!

P.S. Last night was the Medsoc Pub Crawl night…hope those of you who went to the thing had fun! Too bad drinking never became my thing (though I tried). Boo.

Need to Find Balance, Once Again

This week actually begun well.

I was being able to focus in classes despite the lack of sleep, and I was actually pumped up for gym group classes in the end of the day, as I was last week.

But it all started to come down yesterday (not to sound dramatic about it).

Well yes I did notice that I desperately needed more sleep even since Tuesday; I couldn’t help but take brief naps while I was studying in the library during breaks between classes.

But yesterday it just crashed.

I was done with my last class for the day and all, just reviewing over some of the lecture slides from that morning before I went to the gym for another group class.

I thought with a cup of coffee, I could just push through.

Boy was I wrong.

Because just 10 minutes before the gym session begun, this wave of lethargy gushed over me and I felt like I did not want to move a single inch anymore.

I just wanted to lie there in the gym locker room and sleep till the end of eternity.

I should have seen it coming; there was no way that my body could have been totally fine without sleep…I was bound to face the consequences.

So yesterday, I did not attend the gym class.

I went back home, didn’t even wash my face and collapsed face down on the bed.

I would like to say I slept like a baby, but I think it was more like a dead woman.

As I quickly fell into a deep pseudo-unconsciousness, I thought, “thank goodness I don’t have a 9am lecture tomorrow…”.

Ended up waking up at 4am today (yeah that’s what happens when you sleep at 6:30pm), took a quick shower but somehow fell asleep again after that.

I guess the lack of sleep built up was huge enough to actually make me have a good quality sleep for such a long period of time (I was having very shallow and short sleep at nights over the holiday, so it’s nice to be able to sleep well without effort now, if I look at the brighter side of this no-time-for-sleep situation).

Then woke up, went for Pilates at the gym before the prac class, which was just what I needed – a not-t00-strenous muscle work with some good stretch out for my posture.

I thought, after all that sleep last night, I was going to be fine now.

And I was wrong, again.

I came back home after the prac to grab a quick lunch before my next prac class, but then I was kind of really just so tired, I thought I’d rest my eyes at the desk for 5 minutes so I won’t actually fall asleep on the bed, then grab the food and head back to uni.

That did not happen.

I ended up falling to an actual sleep, at the desk, undisturbed, for a full 4 hours before I even noticed that I had fallen asleep.

And it didn’t even feel like so much time had passed.

It literally felt like 3 seconds.

I really did not notice that my body needed to rest this badly.

I wasn’t even consciously pushing myself too hard or anything; I still don’t think that I was that stressed out or working too hard, which makes it difficult for me to determine how much I truly need to rest.

The whole “listening to what your body is asking for” isn’t going to work for me right now.

How do I find balance in my lifestyle, when I can’t get the cues from my own body?

Why couldn’t I get the signals that my body was tired when they were?

Why did it decide to just bring it all upon me at once, after it was just too much to handle?

I need to find that right balance.

Not only have I missed a prac class, but I actually feel pretty gross at the moment.

The long sleep sessions since last night should have left me feeling rejuvenated by now, but honestly, I just feel disgusting.

This is a true TGI-Friday moment for me, because I don’t think I could have rocked up to a lecture tomorrow morning with a fresh mind that’s open to learning.

Tomorrow…well it’s so uncertain because I don’t know what my body needs right now, but I can only hope that things turn out a little better.

And that I can figure out how my body is feeling, what it’s asking for, what my mind needs not to feel this gross, unsure, panicked.

Like my counsellor says, “progress, not perfection”.

I guess when I don’t know where things are going, I can only focus on how things are better right now than what they used to be several months ago, even if they are not perfect.

Up and early on a rainy Tuesday morning

Morning!!!

Up and early on Tuesday at the UNSW Library – just had my 6:30 Pilates class at the gym, which was awesome as always, and two small slices of Burgen’s multigrain bread for breakfast.

I don’t mind waking up early for these morning classes, they make me feel so energetic afterward, and I also feel that the extra time I get before the lecture begins at 9:00 does good stuff for my mind to calm down before I get my head into study-mode. So much better than my usual rush-out-of-the-door-just-in-time mornings

Anyway, it’s already Week-6 and my end-of-course exam is in two weeks…I’m really getting the pre-exam jitters :S It’s not like I haven’t been studying, but I should really amp it up these couple of weeks. Plus, I’ll have to face the end-of-year progressive practical exam a week after the end-of-course…this will be the first practical exam for us first year med kids, and I am terribly scared!!! Gah, I need to learn to feel more comfortable with what I have studied and be a bit more confident…I don’t know, maybe it will come in time – this is my first year, after all.

Anyway, I’m off to my lecture now!! Were going to be covering “clinical aspects of anaemia” and “ethics and palliative care’ today. I saw this morning that the ethics lecture is going to have a ginormous number of slides, but it should still be interesting I really enjoy ethics classes these days – used to think they were dull and pointless and all about common sense in the beginning of the year, but I guess I am learning and growing day by day after all, because now I have an entirely different perspective about it and I don’t find anything “pointless” anymore.

Ok I’m really off to class now See you!!!

Joined the gym!!!

Yup you heard me right, I FINALLY joined the UNSW gym today!!! Woohooo

Unlimited access to cardio/weights room and fitness classes. I can’t wait to try out their rpm (spin) classes.

Sure it wasn’t cheap, but I honestly think the investment would be worth it. Both for my body + mind.

I actually used to be scared of gyms before. I thought it was too intense, sweaty and dangerous…what if one of those huge mechanical stuff dropped on my foot or something? I used to debate with my ex about it…now I am eating my own words.

I guess I’m just motivated to improve my overall health and fitness now. I want to be able to live actively and with a peaceful mind, and now I realise what exercising could do for my physical and mental health.I want to give my body and mind what they deserve.

I used to think that I wouldn’t have the time to go to the gym or do pilates and yoga classes, but I realised that that was not true. Yes, of course my uni studies do require a lot of my time and energy, but that does not mean that I cannot make an hour out of a day to spend just on my body’s fitness. After all, a healthy mind = better productivity = good for my studies too

Anyway, so now I’ll be off to the gym to get some cardio in me Happy Monday night!!!

Pilates saves the day

Yup, definitely went to pilates again. I’m only going on the weekends right now, since I’m not a member at the gym yet, and I was thinking I’d join after my exams were over in November, but I don’t think I can actually wait that long. Plus, my body’s going to need some exercise inbetween those study hours too. No matter how much I may have to study, it’s still important to give the body what it deserves. And also, it helps me concentrate on my work later. Like today, I knew I had to finish my assignment but I still went to class anyway, and just like I’d expected, I was way more productive when I came back. My mind was also really peaceful throughout the entire day…oh gosh, I am so utterly in love with pilates!!! Some of the exercises are a bit challenging and I have to push myself, but I like the feeling of accomplishment when I get through it. The more I centre my mind towards my body, the better. I feel so together after the classes…it’s something I haven’t been able to feel in a long time, and it’s just great. I can’t stress enough on just how much good it’s already doing to me.

 

Well, as usual, I need to post something from my eats today, so here goes

Pre-pilates: (well, not exactly just before the class, but what I had for breakfast…)

The usual oatmeal for me…rolled oats, oats+barley, a pinch of salt, cinnamon, chia seeds and vanilla extract. Maple syrup and almond butter to top it all off

 

And post-pilates lunch:

Baby spinach, coral leaves, tomato and red pepper salad with cottage cheese, hummus and cilantro topping. Dices and microwaved veggie burger and half a wholewheat toast and half a multigrain toast.

Now I’m off to re-read through my assignment again and submit it off!!! Adios amigos, buenas noches

Another Friday Off

So today was another one of those no-uni Fridays!!! This has been continuing throughout this teaching period, but for the next two weeks I think my timetable had some practical classes scheduled in on Fridays :S Oh well, but that should be my “normal” routine anyway, so I won’t complain.

 

Anyway, so I woke up this morning, got me some oatmeal for breakfast (like I’d prefer anything else on a cloudy morning like today and actually have the leisurely time to enjoy a hot bowl of creamy and fluffy oatmeal…) and headed off to the medical centre in UNSW campus to get my last dose of HCV-B vaccine. But then when I actually got there, it was completely packed and the receptionist lady told me that I might have to wait for more than an hour. So I decided to shift my appointment to 11:30, and went to my Pilates class instead.

 

I was planning to go to the class after the immunisation, so I had a lot of time to wait…went to the library, killed some time online and ran down to the gym. The run was sort of a good warm up, actually We had a different teacher from last week this time, and I actually preferred the class today because we worked out different muscles throughout our body more evenly. Last week, it was more abs, I think. Not that I minded, because sometimes a good workout in the abs is just what the doctor ordered I think I’m getting the hang of it better though, I could feel the muscles being worked out better and could concentrate on them more. I like closing my eyes when I can, which also helps me concentrate. Thanks to the class, my mind has been really calm and less stressed out the whole day today

 

Of course, I got the vaccination done after the class, then came back home and had some green salad with tomato, red pepper, hummus and cottage cheese with some cilantro on top. Yeah, the same as the one in WIAW :P

What can a girl do when she loves a simple salad…. But of course, that alone wouldn’t fill up my tummy, so I had a toasted fruit bagel and a veggie burger to go with the salad

 

And now that I was well-fed, I decided to get working on my pending assignment…it’s about ethics and euthanasia, so it’s really interesting to read about, which is a good thing for me because I really need to like what I’m doing to get motivated to do it well. But at the same time, this is one topic there everything is a grey area and also, there are way too many resources you can refer to, that it’s really difficult to determine which ones to use. Though I think I’ve made up my mind and concentrated on the ones I thought were better-rounded after skimming through almost everything I had collected, so it’s going well, so far. I just need to get my speed up and finish it as soon as possible, because it’s due on Monday morning. Hopefully, I will get it done…and get it done well.

 

Towards late afternoon, my concentration was withering away, so I decided to get my ass to the kitchen to cook some dinner + extra servings for leftovers that I could easily munch on during the week. I’m almost always way too tired to cook anything that would require more than 5 minutes when I come back home from uni on the weekdays, so I try to cook for the week on the weekends. Which doesn’t always happen, but I try So here’s what was on the menu tonight:

Red lentil curry, cooked with frozen peas and corn

Wild rice + brown rice, cooked with canned tomatoes and stock

As you can see, quantity = lots of leftovers for lazy dinners during the week

And this was what my dinner looked like, a little prettier on a plate

Had the salad from the lunch, but this time with balsamic vinaigrette.

 

And here I am, trying to get some more work done before I go to sleep…but I missed blogging too much