1/4 Gone Already

Hi hi, people

I hope you all had an amazing weekend! Was it restorative? Or perhaps you went away on a short weekend trip somewhere. Some of you may have had a crazy night at a party (or two). Whatever it may have been, I hope you were able to spend some time for yourself and let your hair down at least for a while. Don’t forget to breathe, even when you have a million things on your to-do list! We’re all only human after all.

As for my uni life, the second course begins tomorrow. Which means 1/4 of the academic year has passed by already. Honestly, it feels like the year has just started! I was texting about this with my friend B today, and we both kind of got freaked out about how the end-of-phase exam (which tests our knowledge on everything we learnt during the first 2 years of our programme) and the OSCE (objective structured clinical examination) will be knocking on the door in no time…. But first things first. We need to tackle this course and the exam at the end of it, plus the practical exam, before we can start to fret about things in the further future. I guess I should put things in order of priority and stop freaking out irrationally. Yeah. I need to stop being so neurotic! I hope that a well-organised study group will help this time though. It will keep me motivated too, so I’m looking forward to this idea of B’s to start a new study group where we divide subjects amongst ourselves and teach each other.

On a different note, I finally got this Marcs orange pea coat that I’d been eyeing for a couple of months now

It was definitely worth the patient wait – Myer’s mid-season sale plus an extra 30% off! Score

Okay then, I don’t really have much to add for today so I’m off.

Goodnight!

- Asuma

Family Love + Photo Log

Happy Friday to you all

I hope you’re having a great day out there, because I’m actually having an unusually happy day.

I think it’s also got something to do with being in better terms with my sister lately.

I can’t write too much about it here because I don’t want any further misunderstandings within my family…but all I want to say is that I am in pure gratefulness to be able to speak with my sister again.

She really is a special girl and I love her so much despite all the ups and downs, and I know I will always love just the same way, no matter what the future beholds.

There are only a very few things we can say that we know for sure in this world of mistrust, distress and uncertainty.

I am going through a bit of a rough patch with myself right now and things are quite complicated, but I feel lucky enough to be able to say that I will love my family, no matter what happens, wherever we are, and always.

So here’s to appreciating each of our presence in this world.

No matter who you are, you do have a place to be, some place you belong.

There might be times when you will think you’re worthless, that you have no point of existing in this world anymore, but that is not true.

Today, I truly want to celebrate every single one of us, whoever and wherever you are.

I am only a tiny being in one corner of this vast planet and I may have no right to say something so big, and I certainly do not intend on coming across to be self-righteous, but I just wanted to share this feeling of bliss that I am holding right now.

Because there were times when I needed that energy from everybody else.

Because I know I will have those depressing moments in the coming future too.

So I want to share whatever positivity I can hold today, with all of you.

Cheesy, huh? I know. But nothing beats honesty.

Anyway, I thought I’d share some more photos with you today for random entertainment.

Not a special outfit or anything, but I just sort of loved these colours today! They cheered me up I haven’t worn make up in ages, but it kind of inspired me into a bit of grooming this morning. It’s nice to look good just for yourself once in a while, it actually feels really good.

Loving this not-too-edgy-nor-too-round sleeve.

Received my copy of the June issue of Vogue Australia in the mail today. Something to look forward to when I’m cozied up in bed.

This came in the mail too. My T2 membership card and two new teas to try out – Girlie Grey and Morning Red. I remember trying Girlie Grey before and liking it, so I might add it to my “tea wish list” (yeah, I’m that girl who has a list for everything).

Speaking of which, another new-to-me tea, the China Pai Mu Tan white tea leaves that I bought recently from Peter’s of Kensington. I love Chinese tea and this one was on sale! Score Check out my Breakfast at Tiffany’s mug too Love. It.

Lunch today – tahini coleslaw with chick peas over pollo alla cacciatora – both of which are super easy to make and so hearty

Needed an afternoon snack for a boost of energy. Chicken breast rosemary slices with haloumi cheese and tomato relish, wrapped up in tortilla. Always need to restore energy after a good glutes-burning session at the gym

This was yummy. Especially because it was eaten with a Peter Rabbit baby fork

More food to look forward to! A natural peanut butter made from fresh nuts in New Zealand (I guess that qualifies as local?), an all natural chai vanilla latte and a made-in-own-farm fig cinnamon jam. Mmmmm…I can’t wait to try them!

Wish you all a great weekend!

Be happy

- Asuma

Exam Tomorrow! [Kitchenware I Adore]

Hi hi Happy hump day!

It’s Wednesday morning at 2:23 AM, and I am writing this post from one of the cosiest coordinates I know, i.e. between my blanket and quilt and pillows and things.

What the hell am I doing at such an ungodly hour, you may ask?

No, the answer is not “I have been studying all this time for the exam tomorrow”.

But I guess the fact that I’m blogging right now is pretty much self-explanatory.

It’s true that I have an exam tomorrow though.

There is just not much to write about that today.

I rarely have moments when I’m like “I don’t want to talk about it” about an issue I am facing (as I’m sure you all know, I ramble quite a lot and I am never the silently brooding type), but I guess this is one of those moments.

On the uni front, there is this other decision I need to make, and promptly too, about what I will be doing research on next year (I will be doing ILP – Independent Learning Project – in my 3rd year).

We are given a list of supervisors and research fields to choose and negotiate from, and it is quite massive so there is something in there for everybody.

I do have a couple of fields that I am really interested in, but I haven’t been able to make up my mind yet!

I do have a number one preference though, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I would be able to finalise a project in it eventually.

I have been feeling like everything is a chore these days, but this is actually exciting for me. Finally, something to feel motivated about!!! I hope this will help push me forward and out of this slump.

Anyway, pre-exam time also calls for quite a lot of browsing through stuff online, and I have found a few several all these kitchenware I could have dreams about! (I mean that quite literally; I have been having some episodes of dreams about Nigella Lawson lately )

Silicone tea-cupcake molds. Found these angels in the mall a while back. Aren’t they the cutest idea ever? I rarely bake cupcakes anymore, but I still adore the idea of it

An oven and microwave safe baking dish. I’ve been looking for one that’s not too large for this single-living yours truly, and this one looked just perfect – simple, yet not too boring a design.

Mini Le Cruset pot. So colourful. So pretty.

Once again from Le Cruset, a cast iron grillet.

I have been contemplating upon the idea of getting a blender for quite a while now. I’m just not really sure which one to get, or if I should even get one at all! The thought of a food processor thrills me, but they’re even more expensive…aaaagh, I really wish I had one though.

Sigh. Okay, I should stop thinking about all these thiiiiiinnnggggsssss and get on with life. Not that the reality is any enticing for me at the moment…oh well.

Hope you’ll all have a Wednesday better than mine!

- Asuma

Cumin-ed Up Lentil and Spinach

Hello there

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend out there! I’ve sort of been in a funk lately (once again…what’s new), despite the fact that I have an exam coming up in only 3 days. Sort of in a “I don’t care about a single matter in the world” mood.

I’m not going to go into the details of my current slump in this post here, but one thing has been making me feel better, and that’s watching Nigella Lawson’s shows. So I took an inspiration from her recipe for chick peas and rocket with sherry and cumin and let my own spin turn on it.

Lentils and Baby Spinach with Cumin:

Makes 2-3 servings.

Ingredients:

• Olive oil
• Garlic, 2-3 cloves, crushed
• Canned lentils, drained and rinsed
• Ground cumin, 1 tsp
• Cilantro paste, 1 tbsp (or use chopped fresh cilantro)
• Baby spinach, 250g (or just as much as you want)
• Lemon juice, 1 tbsp
• Salt, to taste.

1. Heat olive oil on a skillet on medium heat, add crushed garlic.

2. Tip in the lentils and saute.

3. Add in the cumin and cilantro paste. Stir to cover the lentils evenly.

4. Add the spinach, lemon juice and salt to taste. Saute only just to wilt the spinach.

And that’s that!

I had some of it immediately with a piece of toasted tortilla for lunch.

Alrighty, that’s all I have to offer for now.

Wish you all a good remainder of the weekend

- Asuma

Absolutely Wordless

Where Am I?

Cutting to the point, I wasn’t being able to feel myself lately.

I know it has a lot to do with the fact that:

(A) We were in an Easter break until Sunday, meaning staying home for the most part of the week.

(B) The more I stayed in, the more I did not want to go out.

(C) The longer I stayed in alone, I slipped into a mild state of depression. But the process is so slow, you don’t notice the pain and the numbness it causes.

(D) All of this finally leads to mindlessness, numbness and low self-esteem.

While I was walking to uni this morning, I realised how little of self-confidence I had in myself right now.

This is definitely not the first time I’ve felt like this, but it’s not a constant state of mind that I have all the time – yes I do believe that in general I have lost a lot of the confidence I used to have in myself a couple of years ago, but it’s not always constantly very low and some days are better than others.

When it is really bad, I literally cannot think of one thing that I like about myself.

Every reflection of myself is negative.

Today, I went to a mid-day yoga session at the uni gym in between classes. I usually do not like going to the gym in the middle of the day, but I always make an exception for a relaxing yoga class, especially if it’s my favourite instructor, N’s session.

Now, yoga is one thing that I feel like I can call my own.

If there is anything I can come back to, and make me feel like my heart is at home, it’s yoga.

Right now, yoga is the only thing that can make me feel better, even though it’s only just a tiny bit.

While we were in Savasana at the end of the practice today, N spoke to us about asking ourselves, “where am I?”.

I tried to feel my body. I tried to feel my heart.

I usually love this aspect of yoga.

But today, it could not have been more painful.

I could not feel my heart nor my body.

Facing myself, just me, alone…I don’t know how to best explain this, but I felt so suffocated, like I was choking myself with my own hands.

When I opened my eyes, my hands and toes were freezing (though that was possibly just because of my very poor circulation, but I usually don’t feel the chill like I did today).

After the practice, N asked me how I was feeling now, and I thanked her and told her I was feeling a little better.

It was true, I did feel better for being able to face the core of my cold emotions (or the lack of).

I wasn’t a happy camper, but acknowledging the position that my heart was in felt like a step toward figuring myself out again.

A baby step, but a progress, nonetheless.

I hope I can come back to myself again. I want to feel again.

Sometimes there will be steps backward.

But I know I have to keep looking forward and make little efforts to positivity and light.

I hope I can tell this to myself more often, and be at peace.

Blogs & Posts I Liked

Hi hi

Today I thought I’d share some blog posts I read and liked recently, along with some of my staple favourite blogs that I read all the time.

• Pros and cons of dating a Yogi, by Heather from the view from my mat.

As the title suggests, it’s a fun little list of both the good and the not-so-great aspects for someone in a relationship with a Yogi. A light hearted, hilarious read.

• On our radar – The Better Body Image Book from Thick Dumpling Skin.

You can also read the above recommended book here.

• What Should We Call Me.

Practically every single post is just hilarious!!! I think I’ve mentioned it a while ago too, but this blog is absolutely fantabulous, it is bound to make you feel better in an instant even when you’re feeling down. It’s my little daily pick-me-up

• What I’ve Learned [from running], by Jamie from collegegirlcooking.

I think Jamie’s blog was one of the first few that I started following when I just started getting fascinated about reading various blogs. Many of her posts and recommendations have truly helped me in my life, and I could not thank her enough for that. Thank you so much, Jamie!! Always wishing you all the best from the bottom of my heart

• Check out this video about Nigella Lawson’s cover on the Stylist magazine! Even her photos are delicious….

There was a point when I was almost addicted to Nigella Lawson’s shows! And I think I’m having a kick out of it again these days.

Anyway, happy reading/watching!!

- Asuma

Winter Fashion

Hello people

It was such a sunny day here in Sydney today! It was getting colder these couple of days, especially at dusk and dawn, but thank goodness it was a lot warmer today that the temperature even reached up to 24 degrees! I’m going to embrace the warmth before the chilly winter takes away all the joy from me. I’m almost like a reptile, in a sense that I’m only ever warm under the sun. As soon as I hit the shade, my skin cools down and start getting goosebumps. Might sound like I complain too much about something so small, but this is quite a serious issue for me, especially during the winter months. I’m sure those of you who also have super-poor peripheral circulation would understand.

As much as I love being out in the sun on days that I don’t have classes at uni, walking outside seems to stress me out sometimes. I usually wear a pair of sunglasses when the sun is out, but even then, for some strange reason my eyes dry up very easily, leaving me feeling as though I am sleepy and tired. And I get way too thirsty when I’m outside – which is not a problem on its own because I try to carry a water bottle with me most of the time, but I happen to have the tiniest bladder anyone could possibly have…. Such a dilemma; whether to drink water, or not to drink water, that is the question. Yes these petty stuff do add up, and trust me when I say it is a stressful situation we’re dealing with over here  Does anybody else have a similar problem like me too? Have you found a solution to make it better?

Anyway, moving back to the wintry topic. Although I despise the cold temperatures and the miserable rain that the season brings, I don’t truly hate the season itself as much. I mean, it is the holiday season with many many festivities after all!!! Okay, maybe that doesn’t apply over here in Sydney, but whatever. The season just reminds me of the warmth and coziness of being together with family and friends. The beautiful music and illuminations on the streets. Sure it’s not always that dreamy throughout the entire season; we all do have lives to live. But a little bit of day-dreaming never hurt anyone, right?

Fashion is also another thing I love about winter!! It’s only one of the few things I can look forward to in this chilly season. Cute capes and coats, warm and fuzzy scarves, clickety clackety boots…!!!!! It could not not cheer a girl up. However, here’s the sad part of the story (for me) – my circulation seems to have been getting even worse lately, so I think I’m going to have to resolve to not wearing shorts, dresses or skirts throughout the entire season This is just so so sooooo disappointing but I’d rather not sacrifice my legs for fashion. I know, a lot of people say “fashion is pain”, but I don’t think I can commit myself that much, to be honest. Earlier this year, I also made the compromise of switching from carrying shoulder bags to backpacks when I go to uni. Although I miss my bags sometimes (they’re just sitting in my closet for the most part these days, boo), my shoulders are very thankful for my sensible choice. I know choosing comfort would probably be the right thing to do for me this time around too.

I know I’m going to miss being able to shop for a wider variety of clothes, but I’m not one to stay pessimistic for too long! I did some research (oh what would we ever do without you, Pinterest) and found some pretty cool winter coordinations that I might want to try, without having to cause my knees to shiver and clatter!!!

Pastels always make me smile

[source]

Leg warmers - but probably with skinnies or cigarette pants for me instead of tights, for extra insulation.

Introducing colour and pattern through scarves, since I won't be able to incorporate them through skirts and dresses.

Has the time to try a white pair of jeans finally arrived for me?

[source]

I recently got a leather jacket from etsy, but how cute is this plaid inner lining? I might invest in a new denim shirt though.

[source]

Just realised how I only own ankle boots! Maybe knee high ones too this year.

[source]

Love it or hate it. I love it.

[source]

Only if the leggings are warm enough But I adore the pattern!

Big sweaters + statement necklaces

[source]

And one final favourite.

Kidding! But who knows what they’d want to wear in decades’ time. Maybe then

Alrighty then, I should probably go and make shopping plans now!

- Asuma

Wordless Wednesday

Hi hi, people

I haven’t blogged in a couple of days now, not because my life has been filled with lots of activities and I was too busy to write, but simply due to the lack of material to write about.

I’ve been staying at home and it’s been quite uneventful.

However, here I do have some recent photos of snippets of my life that I thought I’d share with you today.

Okay, I said this post was going to be wordless so I’m going to shut up now and let these pictures do the talking.

Explanations to be followed on some of these photos later.

- Asuma

Photo A Day April Week-1

#photoadayapril @fatmumslim

(Read more about the photo-a-day challenge here on Chantelle’s blog, fat mum slim.)

Day-1: The reflection of my hand.

Day-2: Colour.

Day-3: Got my new mug in the mail that morning.

Day-4: A photo of my mum on my bedroom door…someone who makes me happy.

Day-5: Random fact…I have tiny ears.

Day-6: My lunch today; tempeh and veggie stir-fry with brown rice.

Day-7: A shadow…something as dark can only exist because of light.

- Asuma